"Bones" Rocks !!!

After a long time , am regularly following a T V Show.It is so interesting and
i get stuck to the idiot box when it is time for Bones in star world.

I did not even know that FBI has such medical driven investigations. Some of the episodes make me go awestruck .Its like watching a thriller everyday ..
I enjoy it so much that i try and stay awake till 12 to get a sneak view of every new episode as mostly i miss the 8pm time slot .The actors who appear on the TV show are simply superb and perform like as if they are real FBI agents :-)
Many episodes will leave you with mysteries which you just cannot guess and the way the plot gets unfolded is brilliant ..

I have to write more about Bones -once i get to watch it regularly !

Depressing Days of my life !

I have never been this depressed in life ..yes in thirty years....am so depressed
now that i end up breaking so often .

My only comfort right now is Vihaan and i feel so bad about being depressed when he is around.After all the few hours that i spend with him , this is not the face that i want him to see -a depressed mamma ...

Thought me writing about my angst, upsetness and low feelings can help me get out of this low life condition . Dunno where the happy viji has gone ....
why is that my happy days does not exist for more than one whole day .
I think i put my heart and soul into everything i do , i try to be a perfectionist , i want to be nice to everyone and the biggest mistake is -i expect all this from outside too .Then what will remain -all anger and upsetness only

Why should everyone be nice to me ? why will everyone do things the way i do it ..huh ..

Such a late realisation !!

And off late i realise am just not connected to the outside world .I have stopped talking to friends , my sister (my biggest strength in times of trouble )and even my gakkai friends . Dunno why i have build a shell outside me ...is this all because am unhappy or am i unhappy because i am becoming a closed person ?

Dunno -let me find some answers soon !

Being a working mommy :-(

It's not been easy leaving the cutie pie behind at home and come to work.The very first day of joining back work ,I felt like a school kid leaving his mamma's hands to go to school with eyes full of tears.Guess , here it was a role reversal as vihaan was the happy one giving his toothless smiles when i felt :-(

Wonder how woman can manage their career and children with ease.Its no easy task for me as i have not even started learning this art yet ! I wonder how my mom managed her work , can't beleive that she put in even twelve hours of night duty when we were little children .Kudos to her , My respect for her has grown by leaps and bounds after i became a mother :-)

i dont know if Vihaan misses me or not , but i surely do .If i put in eight hours at work , fours hours are gone thinking about him and what he would be doing :-P
How i wish he can talk and tell me " mamma , i miss so much when u r at work "
Well may be -it's better that he is not yet talking as you never know if i will be able to step out of home after hearing him say this to me ...

Women are made so different . I dont know why we are not able to handle jobs the way men do .After a baby , every woman goes through many a guilt trips and being at work away from baby is just another one !!

Guess it is all because of the umblical cord connection -you feel like you have left a part of you behind at home and tere you are sitting at work !

Emmm...let me see how long i cope with this or if i will grow out of this feeling soon. Now,moi is rushing to see my little darling Vihaan

TUTLI BECOMES VIHAAN SUJAY

After how long am here ..gosh i felt like as if i did not have a life of my own once the brat came out...

I can make a movie or write a story book to encourage all women who go thru a delayed
delivery in the sense ..TUTLI arrived very very late ..that too without giving his mom any sign of labour pains ..oops...i was admitted to get induced :-( IT WAS A PAINFUL DAY but it was all worth it ...as the saying goes -no pain ,no gain -so true!

I was getting anxious ..it was almost a week beyond the due date but what you hear from most of the women are that they had their baby before their due date ..this always kept me in worrysome state ...finally after a days admission that nite ..i got my labour pain , honestly wished i had a boy as i cant see my gal go thru this in later stage ..
and it was a BOY....Pappa dear was hoping it was TASHA SUJAY , but it was VIHAAN SUJAY!

The doc, nurse everyone at First med hospital was too good ...i cant imagine bringing him out if not for them -THEY WERE ALL AMAZING ..and my doc -she is a true GODDESS !
Though our hospital stay was scary as swine flu scare occupied every story and talks - i enjoyed every moment of those initial days watching the cutie pie...how tiny his fingers were...how small he was ...so cute and sweet ...my heart ached when they told me he had jaundiced and it literally broke when i saw him under the photo therapy lights with his eyes tied..Hats off to moms who have special children ..what they must be going thru ..gosh u need all the courage in the world to raise a baby and watch him hurt himself and grow -hope i get some soon as i am still the scary ,over protective mom (well..cant expect a 2 month mom to be a THAGDA)

TUTLI has filled our lives with joy and he has made me fall in love all over again with my Sujay after seeing the doting appa in him....did not expect in the wildest of my dreams that sujay is gonna be such a doting dad...amazing ..am enjoying every bit of his action when we are around with TUTLI...

Vihaan is adorable and now he needs me ..so i will continue my romance with the key board later .....!!!

Best days of my life !!!

Emmm..you got it ...it's also a line from the cult song "summer of 69" and i feel like singing now and all the time ..These are the best days of my lifeeeee...yeah yeah!!

It's been wonderful to take time off from work ..Finally ...after so many years of working ..am gonna have a good break .Well , even if this break is gonna actually keep me on my toes with my baby arriving anytime..its gonna be fun ...(hopefully !!)

Started my leave yesterday ...and its been total masti from then ...
Sweetu hubby managed to get me all the dvds that i craved to watch ..and now
already am done with Salaam Namaste ,Just my luck ...Have spidy ,finding nemo and lion king to go ..by the time i finish that list , my list of next 10 romantic comedies would be ready ...yippie yeah !!! To top it all ,grabbed his mp3 too ...so
some unlimited music -all favourite ,chosen ones that i would die to listen to ..who else can it be but for Mohd Rafi ka songs and some chosen latest hindi n tamil songs.



Can't ask for more to relax and get tutli to have some good time along with me
before we get to see each other ...

while am happy with all this ...somewhere inside me , the woman waiting to deliver is paranoid ..she is scared , anxious and what not ....mixed up emotions :-O

Hope all the nice movies and soothing music would help me get away with the highs and lows and make me totally happy :-))

Countdown beginsssssssssssss....few more days and TUTLI is gonna keep me so busy that i would return to blogging i guess after .....keep guessing :-)

Revolution in Filmi Music -Thaamarai & Harris

Emmm ..This one movie has been very close to my heart ..This movie's music rocked !!!
i was madly in love with the song " Nenjukkul peithidum poo mazhai "
Guess that audio CD would have played in our car a 100 times by now and i would not
be surprised if i can put TUTLI to sleep with this song :-)) he he he as then when i was listening to that song repeatedly ..i did not know i had conceived only ...
I had even watched the movie on a special screening with tutli inside me ..HE/SHE must have been a single cell then :-)) say 1 or 2 weeks old ...ha ha ha ..i cant imagine !!

Back to the topic ..This movie's music moved me ..it was for so many reasons ..to make it sound more apt let me use this borrowed title that my friend uses.. "KAARANAM AAYIRAM" for liking "VAARANAM AAYIRAM" ..I wonder how lyricist Thamarai can bring out the emotions and feeling that a man goes through..trust me ..i feel like a man yearning in his shoes listening to lyrics of some of her songs...specifically ...Nenjukkul, and that beautiful song , Manjal veiyil from vettaiyaadu vilayaadu ...gosh...i can keep the list going ! Am so glad she is writing songs and Harris Jayaraj's Music just compliments it :-))

Some lines from Manjal Veiyil -Manjal Veiyil Maaliayile ..Palichitum vilakkugal Pagal pol kaatuthe ....yaaro yaaro yaaro aval :-)) ...Now ..U got to listen to that song :-)) Picturisation is also toooooooooo gud...So now watch it and Enjoyyyyy !!!

TUTLI

Emmm ....Finally here i am writing a blog about who has taken control over my life these days .. "TUTLI"..

He/She has been my recent love ,interest ..everything i say !!

I cant believe that TUTLI has been inside me for so long now .. 30 weeks :-)
30 Weeks of putting up with me and baring with me ...wait baby doll..just another 10 weeks and you will be seeing so many people around you who are eager to see you esp the one who is responsible for you :-P

I cant believe TUTLI has been with me for so long ...more than 7 months??
Time flew away as i still feel like as if it was yesterday ..when i called him to
say we are gonna be parents ...i still feel like it was just few minutes back that i saw TUTLI's heart beat on that scan machine ..whoaa ...a beautiful journey in to this
initial days of motherhood and sometimes it scares me to even think that am gonna be responsible for someone else soon ...i wonder how am going to take care of TUTLI ...?
High time i grow up so that i realise am not the little one anymore :-P
someone else needs all the attention and pampering that i always crave for !!!

Pregnancy sure makes you feel special , at least the people around you ensure that you are made to feel special .. People surprise me with their behaviours ....and i realise ...i am not gonna be pregnant forever , so i better enjoy this attention and extra care that am eligible and deserve enjoying right now ...whether it be that nail polish this cute lil gal from my office got me because i said that pink color is nice or be it the coconut ball stuff dosai got me all the way from ooty ...I was emotional when he told me he extended the ride from kodai to ooty to get me this stuff ..
how can i forget both the ammas and my hubby !!! even if that goes without saying ..
they make me feel as if am the only pregnant woman on earth :-))

Well..i also realise that all this is not for moi ,but for TUTLI ....

By the way..TUTLI by now can hear stuff , so let me stop romancing with the keyboard and start talking to TUTLI ..