Thursday, May 13, 2010

GOD

I don't know if GOD exists or not . But just feel liking pouring out my opinions on GOD here.
I was raised as a god fearing person , parents always took me to temples for summer vacations.Have been to all the thiruvannamalai to mantralayam and tirupathis. Even till this date, i feel at peace when i visit our family god temple.. Bagavathy amman's temple @ madapalli kaavu . Every time i am there ...my soul searching begins ..it is one of the places that is so close to my heart .And when in Coimbatore , i always enjoyed doing my daily visits to Dhavanthiri temple, ayyappan temple and Sathyanarayana temple. It was like a routine to visit the temple. But once i took up Buddhism my view towards idol worship and GOD changed.I felt there was no supreme human power above us who is controlling everything in our lives. Tried applying logic to everything we did in Hinduism and when i did not find a logical reason , i mocked at it. Abhishegams reminded me only of the poor for whom this milk and honey would do wonders. People talking in temple put me off... all they were doing inside a temple premises was gossiping and discussing about others. Is that what god wants ? The more i read about buddhism , i understood ..we do not profusely say there is no GOD ..all buddhism says is do not leave everything to an external source ..work on yourself first . As even buddhism believes in the zhoten zenjin and buddhist gods . It's the positive protective forces working in the universe . As i keep writing here , am still an amature in this topic. NO one yet knows who GOD is ..if he exists etc . All we know is faith ..yup ..the word is faith..when we believe in something ... we work towards it and we will get it.. but sometimes..out timing is just not right ..even the most deserving thing does not come your way when your timing is  not right ...now that is what is called KARMA. Again i wonder..how something i did in the past should affect my present ...sounds ridiculous that someone is born rich because he did so much good in his previous lifetime but someone is poor because of all the bad deeds... But when you actually experience it..it all feels so right ...KARMA, GOD ..FAITH ...everything...

Finally i realise ,all these stuff are created ,written and passed on by someone called MAN.. so it is he who creates everything and gets the ball rolling .. until i find some answers to these innumerable questions ...i will believe in MYSELF !!!!

Dedicated to both the AMMAS

Mother's day is just a reason to make those lovely ladies i know feel special .. I started the day with an SMS that i created and sent it to the few mothers i know ... some of them were delighted reading the message and instantly replied... my message was " Motherhood teaches you that it is possible to love someone unconditionally" . I had my buddhist meeting that day and so quickly i got ready to go for the same. I surprised my mother in law by gifting her something that she has been wanting for a long time ..A feng shui bamboo plant. After seeing the broad smile on her face, i left for the prayer meeting .Back home , lunch was perfect with the potato fry and the lovely sambar . Then it was time to visit my mother as i had got her the gift that she really liked.It was BOBBY movie dvd and Kanda shashtikavasam by Soolamangalam sisters. I had rushed to odyssey to get the same previous nite but they did not have stock with had soolamangalam sister's voice .But according to my mother, kanda shastikavasam sounds perfect only when Soolamangalam sisters had rendered their voice to it :-) i agree with her as these ladies had some divineness in the way they had recorded this song. So , rushed out of odyssey and checked out another small music shop.We went to buy one CD but ended buying so many audio cds and some old time classics like kaadalikka neramillai , bama vijayam ..all those nostalgic nagesh hits. There was already a plan for our family dinner , so quickly i had to head to amma's house so that i can catch up with her before we went out . As i was entering amma's apartment my mother in law called me and said .. i have invited a special guest for the the dinner tonight and she will join you at ur mom's plc ..bring her along etc .. i took a few guesses assuming , it must be one of her sisters or relatives ...
But later, i  realised it was my AMMA.. felt so happy in my heart ...as when i was leaving my home ..i had this slightest regret on how marriage changes priorities for a woman and how you have to put even you mother behind and go ahead with your life etc.. but this nice act of my mother in law proved to reassure me that not necessary that things have to change after marriage .It is all in our hands .. if we give so much love , it will come back in multi fold and that is what i am getting now ... I could not have asked for a better Mother's day gift as this was my first mother's day ...a dinner with both the AMMA's in my life along with their dear children and the most lovable grandchild Vihaan ! It was just a perfect way to end the day...