Wednesday, February 24, 2010

"Bones" Rocks !!!

After a long time , am regularly following a T V Show.It is so interesting and
i get stuck to the idiot box when it is time for Bones in star world.

I did not even know that FBI has such medical driven investigations. Some of the episodes make me go awestruck .Its like watching a thriller everyday ..
I enjoy it so much that i try and stay awake till 12 to get a sneak view of every new episode as mostly i miss the 8pm time slot .The actors who appear on the TV show are simply superb and perform like as if they are real FBI agents :-)
Many episodes will leave you with mysteries which you just cannot guess and the way the plot gets unfolded is brilliant ..

I have to write more about Bones -once i get to watch it regularly !

Monday, February 8, 2010

Depressing Days of my life !

I have never been this depressed in life ..yes in thirty years....am so depressed
now that i end up breaking so often .

My only comfort right now is Vihaan and i feel so bad about being depressed when he is around.After all the few hours that i spend with him , this is not the face that i want him to see -a depressed mamma ...

Thought me writing about my angst, upsetness and low feelings can help me get out of this low life condition . Dunno where the happy viji has gone ....
why is that my happy days does not exist for more than one whole day .
I think i put my heart and soul into everything i do , i try to be a perfectionist , i want to be nice to everyone and the biggest mistake is -i expect all this from outside too .Then what will remain -all anger and upsetness only

Why should everyone be nice to me ? why will everyone do things the way i do it ..huh ..

Such a late realisation !!

And off late i realise am just not connected to the outside world .I have stopped talking to friends , my sister (my biggest strength in times of trouble )and even my gakkai friends . Dunno why i have build a shell outside me ...is this all because am unhappy or am i unhappy because i am becoming a closed person ?

Dunno -let me find some answers soon !

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Being a working mommy :-(

It's not been easy leaving the cutie pie behind at home and come to work.The very first day of joining back work ,I felt like a school kid leaving his mamma's hands to go to school with eyes full of tears.Guess , here it was a role reversal as vihaan was the happy one giving his toothless smiles when i felt :-(

Wonder how woman can manage their career and children with ease.Its no easy task for me as i have not even started learning this art yet ! I wonder how my mom managed her work , can't beleive that she put in even twelve hours of night duty when we were little children .Kudos to her , My respect for her has grown by leaps and bounds after i became a mother :-)

i dont know if Vihaan misses me or not , but i surely do .If i put in eight hours at work , fours hours are gone thinking about him and what he would be doing :-P
How i wish he can talk and tell me " mamma , i miss so much when u r at work "
Well may be -it's better that he is not yet talking as you never know if i will be able to step out of home after hearing him say this to me ...

Women are made so different . I dont know why we are not able to handle jobs the way men do .After a baby , every woman goes through many a guilt trips and being at work away from baby is just another one !!

Guess it is all because of the umblical cord connection -you feel like you have left a part of you behind at home and tere you are sitting at work !

Emmm...let me see how long i cope with this or if i will grow out of this feeling soon. Now,moi is rushing to see my little darling Vihaan