My Prayers for you dear!

It was like any other busy day at work. One of the doctors walked in to to my room to discuss something and then i got to hear the not so good news. She was rushing to the hospital to save a baby inside a mother who had brain hemorrhage . Yes, the mother was dying. I was so curious to know what had happened to this peculiar delivery and when i happened to speak to the neonotalogist who attended to this delivery , she told she managed to save the baby boy but the mother is dying . I feel a deep pain inside me today ..imagine a boy being born without a mother ..imagine the child's future...A mom's love can be replaced with nothing / no one's love and hence this pain . I pray for this little boy who was born today to be blessed with all that he has missed today ..probably another mom in someone else. I wish someone would love him as much as his mom would have if she had stayed alive today ...Let this boy be blessed with all that he will need when he grows up ...my tears cant stop thinking of many who grow up without their mothers ...it is not easy ! I don't know why god plays such bad games with people's lives!! are you listening god? why why ? what did this little child do to be born this way ? Help me understand this pleaseeeeeeeee

The Mommy in me!

When you hear that your son has started getting physical with other kids - the mommy in you says what? oh..gawwdd... why is he being such a naughty brat ?? or rather you take it as ..it all happens in childhood . Now , am not very sure which of the two occurred to me as all i could think was , is he doing that really ? as he is usually the lovable darling boy who bears with all the beating and pushing that others kids do with him . I have always worried about how he is very timid and bears what other kids do to him when he was 2 years old. I remember how i felt so bad when my neighbour's kiddo pushed him away and Vihaan fell and kept going back to get friendly with the kid who was pushing him . Probably , now he has learnt to be like the OTHER KID ! well, it does bother you a little when teachers report about a certain not so appreciable behavior but they also added, it is not to the extent to hurting another child .It's just pushing away another kid to watch their reaction .Am wondering if he is thinking of this as a small game that he usually plays with his grandma at home .Kids are so good at imitating what they do or what others teach them . So let the mommy in me take it easy and wait to watch if this gets serious :-P

YOU VS ME !!!

Ever wondered who you are ? why you are this person ? Interacting with certain people who remind you of certain things ...or feel the Deja vu ... i think a lot about all this . who am i ? why am i feeling this way ..

I would suddenly feel so sad for the girl who is selling coloring books by the beach side in bare foot when at the same time many of her age kids are driving with parents happily in a BMW . Then another realization comes along that the BMW parents have worked hard to take care of the girl who is getting this ride ...so , why did nt this poor girl's parents think about her when a stranger like me is worried about her .
I kind of meet certain people who make me feel - what can i do to change this situation for them. In the sense, sometimes it is people who are less fortunate .And sometimes i tend to pick up arguments in a certain pattern... i tend to feel the same way about say a few people i interact with . I feel i give too much importance to how others feel about what i am saying or if they will take it well . And sometimes it is the exact opposite - i don't care how you feel , this is it -my opinion .Well , we never know what is actually right and what is wrong . Sometimes it is better to follow your heart than waiting for the logical answers from your head . It kind of works .. at least when it comes to the YOU VS ME ego clashes between close ones.

But what i have learnt is to stop giving importance to the other person when the ME gets taken for granted and gets hurt .End of the day what is the point in making someone else happy at the cost of your happiness., there is the thin line here... hurting someone to keep yourself happy or keeping yourself happy by hurting someone ..That is a Toughie -so figure out for yourself as to which one to choose :-P

Where am i in this rat race?

Before i knew it , Vihaan has grown up and i still can't believe he is two years old. I am wondering if i enjoyed every move of his? I did not miss to hear him utter his first word , the first time he called me " Amma" , the first time he danced etc

But suddenly , there is also this feeling that i get so caught up with the race that everyone is running today .Typical corporate rat race that keeps me glued to issues even when i am around vihaan . When i think about it , i feel it is not worth missing my child's cute little actions and thinking about the never ending work issues . When will i learn to stop running this race.. i don't know . Probably the fact that i already thought about the mad race will make me exit from it soon . Life is too beautiful to be wasted in sorrows, comparison , envy , hatred and of course stress. I wish we all can get into time machine and go back in the past where mobile phones & televisions did not exist so that we can spend more time with loved ones instead of getting glued to these electronic equipments. Though i hardly spend time in front of the idiot box , i think my time with my mobile phone is more than the time i spend with vihaan ....My mobile phone can be counted as an additional part of my human body ..it goes where ever i go ...and it never stops craving for my attention ... It is mostly work calling Viji even when at home . So here is to an attempt to exiting the mad race and to more peaceful moments with myself and my loved ones ...i know it is easier said than done , but let me at least try it :-)

Vihaan's First Day at School

There he stood my little boy -already grown up to start his play school. Dressed in blue t shirt and a checked shorts looking around confused , puzzled as to what is going to happen in this place where so many children of his age group along with their mommies and some new aunties are hanging around . And then slowly , we had to drop him off and he shed his tears for going away to strangers for the first time .

There were only sound of crying children for the next half an hour .Then we were shooed away from that place to not hang around and make it difficult for the crying children.

We all waited patiently for the one hour to pass by but every minute was looking like an hour . Constantly peeping in through the gaps of the walls to see what our children were doing . Some grand parents went on " how can they leave the child alone"
and one mommy even cried . I was busy zooming my camera to take a click of little vihaan's reaction . With great difficulty capture two snaps ...it was so far way ..though got a pic of he asking a teacher something ..like " where am i ??? "
This is a picture that will never fade from my memory , like the one that is registered already in my mind - where Dr Nirmala put him on my tummy and said " it is a boyyyyyyyyyyy" and the tired me gathered all my energy to take a look at my sweetie pie who was gonna change the rest of my life ...yes ..my labour ward scene :-)

Now back to the school play ground , Vihaan looked like he was crying but at the same time concentrating on what was happening ..other kids ..teachers..observing them . He also caught hold of one of the older kids and walked around with her ...

My patient wait ended when they called for Vihaan's mom and smilingly i went and grabbed him and gave him a tight hug as if he had returned from war!!!!

And i felt so elated to read his first school report ....

Finally ....Vihaan's mom is also growing up :-)

Vaanam - Touches the SKY!

Having Simbhu in the movie , i was contemplating if this was for the masses or the guys? I realised i have never watched his movie on the big screen .But hearing a lot of good reviews , we decided to watch it and we would not mind seeing it again .As it is one of his best performance ever. Not only because of him, every character in the movie shines and so are the actors filling in the shoes of the characters. Anushka's as a bold prostitute, Prakashraj -a Muslim tagged as a terrorist , Charanya as the villager mother longing to rescue and educate her son , Bharath a wanna be rock star -representing the typical youth of today and our very own mass STR as cabel man..all have a nice role to play in the movie . Some comedy scenes are hilarious -thanks to Santhanam & Ganesh. Some heart touching scenes nearly make your eyes wet. Especially when charanya's father in law looses his money earned through selling her kidney and every character's moments of repenting for their mistakes. I loved the song on theivam (GOD) ,it's lyrics and yuvan crooning to that melody just makes it even more easier to reach your soul . Simbhu was at his best in the last few minutes of the movie which is the highlight or what we call a climax . Connecting all the characters from parallel short stories together in the climax was beautifully done Kudos to the story writer and the director .VAANAM -Really reaches the sky via your HEART!!

Marketing one's Religion /Faith

One thing i never understood is this .Why do people do advertising for their faith/religion . I don't get it at all . i just cannot stand when one starts preaching about their god/ beliefs etc all of a sudden. I feel faith / practicing a religion is one's own personal choice .Like how we have certain personal stuff, this should also be a personal thing -which is too precious to be actually spoken so much about .I know and completely understand that when someone is in need of help ,we need to show them the way -share what worked for us etc .But why without asking for it? I have met people who just focus so much on their god topic.Sometimes - i wonder why do they do that ? to convert me or to make me buy their belief system ...sometimes it looks so.I believe practicing a philosophy and living by the principles is far more important than just talking about it or preaching to others about it . We can definitely share with friends if it is a great thing that needs to be told to some ..but why everyone ? and why with the intention of having someone take up that particular faith ? And most of the time the targets are people stricken with poverty ..they are lured blindly into getting converted to a particular religion by offering free food ,education for their family .. if our faith was so good , why cant all this be given without them having to convert !! why not ?? is it not ..if the intention of any particular religion or faith was to really bring happiness to people - it would do so without having too many conditions like conversions and rules as end of the day what matters is one's belief and what values he/she lives by but not whether he is wearing a cross/vibhudi or doing his namaz!

Busy being busy !

Hey ..i miss writing here... badly wanted to take a few minutes to stay in touch with my blog.This is something i love ...i have been missing it for sometime . My stress levels are its peak with so much work and so little support at work. I feel like i may faint anytime , but stop -who is responsible for this situation ..its none other than ME ,MYSELF ...i think i am the most responsible person on earth .I am responsible for everything that happens in this building . Little do i realise what i have been missing out by being busy all the time that i almost skipped lunch yesterday ..is that worth it ?? Well..not at all . No one has asked me to skip my meal and work so hard. After all -it is a job ! I miss MY WORLD , MY VIHAAN , my little conversations with hubby .I have almost stopped calling him when i am at work.

Now this blog is my first step to giving importance to myself than everything else ion this world ..here i go !! doing the things that i like the most and i hope i follow it everyday !!

Being nice to not so nice people!

I was just reading a blog post of a friend who keeps encouraging everyone through her quotes and positive thoughts and one line i read today hit me hard .It said something like if only you show love to someone who shows you no love ,you will become the catalyst that breaks the chain of hatred,anger and violence. I apply this to daily life at work which is filled with dirty politics ,back stabbing and passing the buck - what not ? Even some relationships where jealousy and envy takes control than the bond ..i wondered if i can actually do it every time . As off late i have been going through a lot of issues and conflicts where some people are not so nice , forget nice but being nasty to me . How could i possibly show some love to them - i thought ..i loved the poem that she had written over all ..but this line - am trying to reflect on it from this morning . Well , i came up with an answer -why not .. let me give it a try ..

This reminds me of the great mother Teresa.She went to ask for a donation from an entrepreneur who did not know whom she was and he questioned the lady who came in asking for donation..in fact the story goes to say that he literally spit on her ...and yet she responded with , "That was for me sir , what are you going to give for my children at the missionary .... " imagine the kind of compassion mother Teresa must have had ... oh , now am wondering where have i kept her precious little note that she sent me .I had this habit of writing to mother Teresa -some habit that i picked up from my brother .And i was so elated when i got a response from her once .It was a small note with a prayer written on it where she had signed and also mentioning in her own handwriting -"God bless you " . Guess i was in my 5th class. Now i have to find that precious possession and remind myself that such people existed in this world .So why can't i at least try to be 5 % of it ?

Wishing for the happiest decade !!!

This is my first blog on this brand new year . On this brand new year , i wish for myself and everyone around a great time ahead. Also as a new decade begins , i want to wish that may this be the happiest decade and looking forward for many more happy happenings to happen . Am sure this decade will be special as it will be my first moment of anxiety moment when Vihaan steps in to his school , when Vihaan will teach me about so many things that i will learn from him .When mediamagnete will turn into a bigger company , when my sister will get a life partner , when i will get to experience what a graduation function would be like and what not .Oh , 2011 and the decade you bring with you -i so look forward to walking along and enjoying the good times ahead. All i am thinking is for good and may only that come along .Even if bad times come - am sure the good will stick with me ..

Here is to a happening brand new year and a great decade ahead ..CHEERSSSSSSSS!!!