After a long time , am regularly following a T V Show.It is so interesting and
i get stuck to the idiot box when it is time for Bones in star world.
I did not even know that FBI has such medical driven investigations. Some of the episodes make me go awestruck .Its like watching a thriller everyday ..
I enjoy it so much that i try and stay awake till 12 to get a sneak view of every new episode as mostly i miss the 8pm time slot .The actors who appear on the TV show are simply superb and perform like as if they are real FBI agents :-)
Many episodes will leave you with mysteries which you just cannot guess and the way the plot gets unfolded is brilliant ..
I have to write more about Bones -once i get to watch it regularly !
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Depressing Days of my life !
I have never been this depressed in life ..yes in thirty years....am so depressed
now that i end up breaking so often .
My only comfort right now is Vihaan and i feel so bad about being depressed when he is around.After all the few hours that i spend with him , this is not the face that i want him to see -a depressed mamma ...
Thought me writing about my angst, upsetness and low feelings can help me get out of this low life condition . Dunno where the happy viji has gone ....
why is that my happy days does not exist for more than one whole day .
I think i put my heart and soul into everything i do , i try to be a perfectionist , i want to be nice to everyone and the biggest mistake is -i expect all this from outside too .Then what will remain -all anger and upsetness only
Why should everyone be nice to me ? why will everyone do things the way i do it ..huh ..
Such a late realisation !!
And off late i realise am just not connected to the outside world .I have stopped talking to friends , my sister (my biggest strength in times of trouble )and even my gakkai friends . Dunno why i have build a shell outside me ...is this all because am unhappy or am i unhappy because i am becoming a closed person ?
Dunno -let me find some answers soon !
now that i end up breaking so often .
My only comfort right now is Vihaan and i feel so bad about being depressed when he is around.After all the few hours that i spend with him , this is not the face that i want him to see -a depressed mamma ...
Thought me writing about my angst, upsetness and low feelings can help me get out of this low life condition . Dunno where the happy viji has gone ....
why is that my happy days does not exist for more than one whole day .
I think i put my heart and soul into everything i do , i try to be a perfectionist , i want to be nice to everyone and the biggest mistake is -i expect all this from outside too .Then what will remain -all anger and upsetness only
Why should everyone be nice to me ? why will everyone do things the way i do it ..huh ..
Such a late realisation !!
And off late i realise am just not connected to the outside world .I have stopped talking to friends , my sister (my biggest strength in times of trouble )and even my gakkai friends . Dunno why i have build a shell outside me ...is this all because am unhappy or am i unhappy because i am becoming a closed person ?
Dunno -let me find some answers soon !
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Being a working mommy :-(
It's not been easy leaving the cutie pie behind at home and come to work.The very first day of joining back work ,I felt like a school kid leaving his mamma's hands to go to school with eyes full of tears.Guess , here it was a role reversal as vihaan was the happy one giving his toothless smiles when i felt :-(
Wonder how woman can manage their career and children with ease.Its no easy task for me as i have not even started learning this art yet ! I wonder how my mom managed her work , can't beleive that she put in even twelve hours of night duty when we were little children .Kudos to her , My respect for her has grown by leaps and bounds after i became a mother :-)
i dont know if Vihaan misses me or not , but i surely do .If i put in eight hours at work , fours hours are gone thinking about him and what he would be doing :-P
How i wish he can talk and tell me " mamma , i miss so much when u r at work "
Well may be -it's better that he is not yet talking as you never know if i will be able to step out of home after hearing him say this to me ...
Women are made so different . I dont know why we are not able to handle jobs the way men do .After a baby , every woman goes through many a guilt trips and being at work away from baby is just another one !!
Guess it is all because of the umblical cord connection -you feel like you have left a part of you behind at home and tere you are sitting at work !
Emmm...let me see how long i cope with this or if i will grow out of this feeling soon. Now,moi is rushing to see my little darling Vihaan
Wonder how woman can manage their career and children with ease.Its no easy task for me as i have not even started learning this art yet ! I wonder how my mom managed her work , can't beleive that she put in even twelve hours of night duty when we were little children .Kudos to her , My respect for her has grown by leaps and bounds after i became a mother :-)
i dont know if Vihaan misses me or not , but i surely do .If i put in eight hours at work , fours hours are gone thinking about him and what he would be doing :-P
How i wish he can talk and tell me " mamma , i miss so much when u r at work "
Well may be -it's better that he is not yet talking as you never know if i will be able to step out of home after hearing him say this to me ...
Women are made so different . I dont know why we are not able to handle jobs the way men do .After a baby , every woman goes through many a guilt trips and being at work away from baby is just another one !!
Guess it is all because of the umblical cord connection -you feel like you have left a part of you behind at home and tere you are sitting at work !
Emmm...let me see how long i cope with this or if i will grow out of this feeling soon. Now,moi is rushing to see my little darling Vihaan
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